| | Wife:    'What are you doing?'   Husband:    Nothing.
 Wife:   'Nothing?  You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
 Husband:   'I was looking for the expiry date.'
 
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 Wife :   'Do you want dinner?'
 Husband:  'Sure! What are my choices?'
 Wife:   'Yes or No.'
 
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 Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why dear?'
 Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
 Wife:  'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you.'
 Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
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 Stress Reliever
 Girl:  'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
 Boy:  'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
 Girl:  'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
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 Son:  'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
 Mom:  'Well, you have done the right thing.'
 Son:  'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
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 _______________________________________ A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
 'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, no matter WHO left you a fortune!'
 
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 Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
 The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'
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 A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
 He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humour!'
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