marriage humour

Humour about marriage

Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband:
Nothing.
Wife:
'Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband:
'I was looking for the expiry date.'

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Wife
: 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband:
'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife:
'Yes or No.'

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Wife:
'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why dear?'
Hubby:
'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife:
'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you.'
Hubby:
'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'

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Stress Reliever

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy:
'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl:
'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
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Son:
'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom:
'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son:
'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

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A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, no matter WHO left you a fortune!'


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Girl to her boyfriend
: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies
: 'Thanks for the early warning.'

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A wife asked her husband
: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied
: 'I like your sense of humour!'

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