DUMB WAYS AMERICA IS STILL #1

The U.S. may have recently lost its title as most obese nation to our neighbors down south

 in Mexico, but America is still winning in a lot of other not-so-great categories. 

Our list of ways America is still #1 explores the true essence of what it means to be an 

American. with stupidity and dumbness for all.

Highest Incarceration Rate

The land of the free? Not unless you count free meatloaf in America's jails. 

The U.S. boasts the highest incarceration rate of any country, 

with 730 people imprisoned out of every 100,000.

Highest Bipolar Rate

America might just be the Amanda Bynes of the world. In a study of 11 countries,

 the U.S. proved to have the highest rate of bipolar disorder with 4.4% of citizens 

receiving diagnoses in their lifetimes. But fret not. Insanity is most common in wealthy

 countries, showing that the crazier we are, the better it is for America.

Wasting Electricity

Leaving the lights on and the AC blasting is as American as it gets, 

making this country a proud leader in wasting energy. Low energy productivity 

costs the U.S. $130 billion per year, a staggering amount except 

when compared to the cost of gasoline for your SUV.

Divorce Rate

The U.S. has an average of 4.95 divorces per every 1,000 people. The bad news

 is that's a lot of broken homes. The good news is there are plenty of easy targets on the rebound!

Drug Use

Put down your pipe and pay attention. America leads the world in 

cannabis and cocaine usage, which makes for a sad reality but a great database

 of mug shots. Researchers also found that America leads the world in alcohol and tobacco usage.

TV Watching

Americans spend way too much time in front of the boob tube. 

The U.S. is tied with the U.K. for the most TV watching per week, 

clocking in at an average of 28 hours per person. And that was 

before the final season of Breaking Bad started!

Teen Moms

With the popularity of shows like Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant, 

America does a stellar job when it comes to glamorizing young moms. 

So much so, in fact, that the country has the highest percentage of 

teenage pregnancies of any developed country on Earth.

Phishing

We may not have a Nigerian prince who wants to give us a million 

dollars, but we do lead the world in the number of internet phishing sites with

 a whopping 24%. It's good to know all that stolen Internet cash is going to our neighbors.

The Most Lawyers Per Capita

No country knows how to sue better than this one, so thank goodness we 

have tons of attorneys chasing our ambulances. There is one lawyer for every 

265 Americans, which may sound like a bad thing unless you sell billboard space.

The Cost Of Having A Baby

In the U.S., that little bundle of joy is going to cost you a big bundle of cash.

 A standard delivery costs $9,775, which, for mothers not covered by 

insurance or Medicaid, can be more painful than the labor itself.

Wine Consumption

America is number one in wine drinking, beating out France, Italy and Spain -- 

a list that includes countries whose citizens start drinking wine at birth. 

A study shows 12.54% of the world's wine consumption happens in the U.S., 

presumably by people who've grown immune to excruciating wine hangovers.

Plastic Surgery

The U.S. is the leader in plastic surgery with more than 21.1% of total 

procedures worldwide taking place within the borders of our country. 

Turns out the face of the nation is full of Botox and silicone.

Soft Drink Consumption

You want a Big Gulp, a Super Big Gulp or a Super Super Big Gulp? 

America leads the way in soft drink consumption. Males ages 12-29 are

 the biggest culprit, ingesting an average of 160 gallons of soda each year. 

We'd like to buy the world a Coke, if only so it can catch up to our gargantuan soda habit.

We Own The Most (Annoying) Devices

It's no surprise that America is a land where consumption reigns supreme,

 but this is especially true when it comes to our smartphones, iPads and 

other gizmos. As of last year, the U.S. led the world with 165 

million devices. The biggest problem? Where to charge them all.

Most Twitter Users

There are more Twitter users in the U.S. than in any other country. 

However, the Netherlands is more active, fronting a competitive race to

 see which nation can make the most terrible jokes in 140 characters or less.

The Most Millionaires...

Wouldn't it be nice to be uber-rich? Chances are someone you know is 

a millionaire. In America, there are 5.9 million millionaire-status households. 

The trick is to find out who they are so you can work your way into their inner circles.

...And the Most Billionaires

Those poor millionaires they have no idea what wealth really means!

 Alongside the most millionaires, the U.S. also has the highest number of

 billionaires. Though this is primarily based off what we've heard in rap songs.

Dogs

They may be hairy, loud and messy, but unlike your college roommate 

who bore the same traits, you love your pet pooch.

 In the U.S., 37% of all pet-owning households own a dog.

Cats

Cats aren't just for old spinsters anymore. The U.S. is the world 

cat leader with more than 76 million pet felines in households across

 the country. And every single one of them has a video on YouTube.

Crowdfunding

Can't raise money for your weird peanut butter and jelly-themed 

avant-garde art installation? Make your friends pay for it! That's the logic 

behind crowdfunding, which has risen in popularity in recent years. 

The U.S. leads the world in friend and family-funded projects with 

72% of global crowdfunding projected to come from America in 2013.

Roller Coasters

Americans aren't afraid of a wild ride. The U.S. boasts a whopping 650 

coasters, including 464 sit-down coasters and 44 inverted coasters. 

Now if only we could bring our guns along for the rides.

Worker Productivity

In spite of the lazy American stereotype, U.S. citizens stay longer 

in the office than those in most other nations and produce more money per person. 

Unfortunately, the study doesn't say how much of that time is just 

our workers playing Candy Crush on Facebook.